Sudha & Narayana Murthy – Secret of their Successful Marriage

Narayana and Sudha met in Pune through a common friend Prasanna, who is now the global head of technology at Wipro. Books were the first point of introduction between Sudha and Murthy and still play an important part in their lives. All the books that Murthy read were passed on to Sudha by Prasanna.

Though their romance, which meant going out to restaurants – where all bills were paid by Sudha while Narayana maintained a record with the promise he would pay it back, they confess they were never the hand-holding, gong for long walks-couple, but romance through enjoying shared interests in books.

Sudha say’s “Murthy never returned the money from those dates, I would read all the books that Murthy had read and they were passed on to me by Prasanna.” Sudha recalls her early romance with an awkward Murthy who confessed to her early on in their relationship with “he was only five feet four inches tall, had a squint, came from a poor family, had huge family to support and had no job” she shares “I liked his sincerity. He said to me “I can’t give you riches but I can give you comfort.” My father warned me that Murthy didn’t have a job and I had persisted saying that I was working. My father told me again that a woman cannot work all her life but I said “I will manage.”

Sudha shares the secret of their successful marriage, “For a successful marriage you have to understand the other person’s weaknesses and accept the person as they are. You have to lower your expectations. Marriages break when people have very high expectations of each other. I accepted Murthy as he was, even without a job.”

Murthy shares the same view of acceptance and believes: “Love is all about never having to say sorry to the other person, as Eric Segal defined it. The partner knows that whatever you do it in the best interest of one’s partner.” He says philosophically.

Murthy who quit his job at Patni Computers to pursue the Infosys dream insists that despite his emphasis on simplicity, money was always a focus and he did not stop himself ‘from making money hand-over-fist’. He elaborates, “For an entrepreneur money has to be the focus. If you company is not successful you will not be able to create jobs, but all the money should be made through ethical means, that is very important.”

Even today, they both lives in the same house which they inhabited before Infosys became one of the largest software empires in the country. In the early days their home was shared by Nandan Nilekani and his wife Rohini during the formative years of Infosys and its struggle while Murthy was away in the US making sure their dream project would take off to higher firmaments.

Ordinarily when people chase success, they usually run after big homes, big cars and first class travel but the Murthys have steered clear of any indulgence in luxury, despite it being easily affordable to them. “I am from a middle-class; rather lower-middle class background. I did not have to make a special effort to lead a simple life.

Fortunately my wife believed in the same way of life. Although she came from a comfortable background her mother had impressed upon her the importance of leading a simple life; it trickles down to the children as well” says Murthy explaining the contrast between what they can afford and what they choose to afford.  Sudha agrees with Murthy’s ideology. “I don’t connect success with money. And this kind of contentment comes from knowledge.” Both his children have settled down and Infosys can run on its own steam. His daughter Akshata married Rishi Sunak, a Stanford graduate while Rohan found his life partner in Laxmi Venu Srinivas, daughter of TVS Motors Chairman.

Akshata is a mother. Rohan has just received a rare honor from Harvard University. For an individual the cause of happiness varies from time to time – when one reaches the age of 55-60, it is primarily the successes of one’s children that give happiness. When I was in my 40s and 50s, success meant achieving things for Infosys. Today I derive my happiness from the success of Infosyians younger than me.”

India may produce many such multi-millionaires in the future. But Narayana Murthy will stand tall as one for creating capital to be shared generously. He is a rare in his thought for putting individual interest far behind the interest of the masses at large. “I have derived a certain amount of satisfaction from doing things that have a positive impact on society.” He sums up. Well from the glittering saga of Infosys, we know what goes around, comes around!

This post is inspired from Hello Magazine May 2012